Admittedly, I really struggle with accepting “good enough” or being “okay” at things. For many different reasons (all stemming from various things I’m working through in my own therapeutic journey) I have noticed a desire in myself to work as hard as I can to be as good as I can be at every venture that I try without setting realistic boundaries, limits, or having much grace for myself in the process. The result? The overachiever-perfectionist mode or OPM leaves me feeling exhausted, depressed, and inadequate.
Knowing this tendency that I have for OPM, I have worked over the past 2-3 years more intentionally to slowly but surely become more okay with just being “okay” and saying “no” to myself on taking on too much all at once. As a graduate student who also coaches part-time, does CrossFit, and various entrepreneurial projects on the side — I really have to be cautious about the expectations and goals I set for myself and remember to be grateful for the progress I’ve made in the meantime.
One of the most helpful quotes that resonates in my mind when I begin going on an overachieving binge would be that,
“We will never fully arrive. If we think we have arrived, we are already far off course.”
These truths are so incredibly helpful for me because I have realized that this whole process of improving is a JOURNEY and we will never win at it. So, why not ENJOY that journey in the process?
It’s funny because most of my own “big-why’s” for setting certain goals is to become more of the person I think I want to be because I believe it will make me happier, more in touch with my healthier self, more at peace, and better able to serve others…. Ironically, when I get into my OPM which I believe will help me achieve said “inner peace”, all of that goes out of the window and I lose sight of my whole purpose and drift farther from happiness, peace, and being attuned to others.
For this reason, I have set lower expectations, and practice being grateful for the “good enough”. This year, I may not progress much in CrossFit or my entrepreneurial projects because my main focus is on my clients and graduation. If I am able to be more present with them and get my degree — I will feel good enough and grateful that I am still a part of CrossFit (because I love my community <3) and able to feed the entrepreneur inside of me albeit with slow progress.
I will also embrace when I don’t get a chance to blog because my day is so incredibly hectic or a client is in crisis. The whole point of this blogging thing is for me to document as I learn and grow — and hopefully for that to be something that is inspiring and helpful in you, my reader’s, in your own journey of growth.
So to my fellow perfectionists (or to those who tolerate us!), my hope is that we can SLOWLY (not all at once or perfectly as we will be soooo tempted to do) give ourselves permission to be good enough with things as they are today, to be grateful for the baby steps along the way, and have grace for the moments that we fall and fail. In doing this, I have been able to grow a bunch more in my own personal and professional journey which has been full of failing, spiraling into the shame cave, realizing I’m spiraling into the shame cave, and doing things even when I really doubt myself.
Cheers to an imperfect, failure-full journey of growth in 2017!