We’ve all known or been in the shoes of the person who wants to please everyone. It’s exhausting. (For them and for those around them) And guess what? It’s also impossible. When the goal at the end of the day is to make EVERY person happy, it’s coming from a place of needing something, and not from a place of truly wanting to “be a caring person”. Part of being a HEALTHY person who also really loves caring about people is setting boundaries and being authentically yourself. Sure, you probably have some messy parts that you’re trying to work on (don’t we all!) but I think part of being AUTHENTICALLY you, is digging deep and figuring out what you like, dislike, and truly believe in when it comes from a place of being healthy and “feeling like your enough”, not from a place of needing something from others. And that means embracing your ability to say no to things, people and to accept that–guess what? Not every one is going to like you… and? That’s totally brilliant.
So you want to “be someone else”, eh?
Trying to emulate others completely is… well, quite impossible. I think when we see qualities in others that we are “envious of” or we wished we could “be someone else” what our minds are really trying to say is–“Hey! I really admire this quality, let’s work towards this bc I think it fits your schema of you!” So–dig deep, and ask yourself, “what specifically am I “jealous of” or do I “want to be like” in this person. We are all made up of a very unique combination of parts, so we are all wonderfully, authentically us.
So, be yourself. Really. And if there’s things you don’t like–work on it. If there’s people you “wished you were”, find the deeper meaning in that desire and chase it. And last but not least, love yourself through that process of that continuous growth (after all, we are all works-in-progress or WIPS as I fondly refer to it). There’s a saying that the moment we embrace an “ugly” or undesired emotion or characteristic about ourselves, it is then we can truly look at it and work towards cultivating a more desired state of being (i.e. we honor that part and it lets go of taking over our brains). Because we can embrace the “ugly parts” and learn from them… or? We can pretend they don’t exist as they continuously cycle through our lives and manifest in one way or another.
If I had to pick, I’d pick honoring who you are, and cultivating the best version of YOU.
Until next time,